A Plan for Gathering

The heart of gathering is about real human connection. It’s making a space for others to be seen and known by inviting them into our lives. It’s about building a place of belonging for our friends, family, and neighbors. It’s less about trying to impress and more about making them feel special and welcome.

Over the years, I’ve found that having a simple repeatable plan helps take the focus off myself, sets my mind at ease, and more often gives me the chance to say - yes, let’s gather together. Here’s how I stay ready for guests, whether it’s a party of one or ten.

A Repeatable System

The ease of having a plan comes down to two things: there are fewer decisions to make and it’s more cost effective. My system includes all white dishes, wood serving boards and woven basket trays, vintage flatware inherited from two grandmothers, washable linen napkins, and recycled glassware. I use these same items again and again for nearly all gatherings. Knowing what I’m going to use takes the stress of wondering what I’ll do for each occasion by making it very easy to pull everything together quickly and without much fuss. It also means I’m not having to continuously buy new items.

A Serving Collection

The pieces I’ve collected over the years are a mix of vintage and modern. I prefer natural and neutral materials as a foundation because it lends itself to a variety of different foods. The idea is to curate a collection you can assemble easily and use at a moments notice.

Creating Atmosphere

These 3 simple steps will create a lovely atmosphere in a matter of minutes.

1. CANDLES + LIGHTING

Dim the lights, turn on accent lighting or set out a few tapers or small votive candles. These are what I always keep on hand:

2. MUSIC + PLAYLISTS

I like to create playlists that offer a range of music so I can choose one that feels right for the moment. Make it even easier by saving a few playlists created by others and you’re ready to go! To help, here are some that I’ve made:

3. FLOWERS + BRANCHES

Cut whatever is blooming in your yard or a neighbors garden. Even a single flower evokes beauty and thoughtfulness.

Pantry Staples

You really only need a few pantry items to pull together something thoughtful for your guests. I like to stock salted mixed nuts, dried fruit such as dates, apricots, or cherries, a box of hearty crackers, and bottles of sparkling water, along with several fresh items; lemons or limes to slice for water or tea and a nice sharp cheddar or Comté cheese.

Although I prefer to use my collection of dishes, I buy these sturdy compostable bamboo plates for large crowds and always have these to-go containers on hand to send someone home with leftovers or a slice of cake.

Ways to Gather

These are not revolutionary ideas, rather a gentle reminder when you need a spark of inspiration:

Coffee - TJ’s chocolate croissants or a gluten free freezer option with fresh fruit.
Afternoon Break - enjoy a Swedish Fika, a Mediterranean Mezze or French Apéro.
Weekend Brunch - our go to is a frittata, but crepes and pancakes are always a hit.
Weeknight Dinner - low stress, no fuss - soup, salad and fresh bread.
Taco or Pizza Night - who would say no to this?
Sunday Supper - comfort food or your family’s favorite meal.
Fireside - warm drinks, popcorn, cookies or s’mores.

Before you go…

I would be remiss if I didn’t say that you honestly don’t need to do any of these things. A friend once told me that during a difficult time in her life, the most hospitable thing she ever encountered was a neighbors invitation to lunch - of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Gathering isn’t the same as entertaining. It’s about our commonly held deep need for authentic human connection and kindness.

My hope in sharing is that if you’re like me, having a small plan helps ease things so that you’re able to invite others in and spend that time connecting rather than worrying about what to do. It’s already been decided. You’re free to enjoy their company in it’s fullest.

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Image Source Credit: The home of Pedro da Costa Felgueiras featured in House & Garden.